Never Enough
by StellaSmooth
Summary: Marian Hawke had saved the Knight-Captain's life once and he wanted to make sure that she was ok after her brother betraying secret. Now under his watchful eye in the Circle of Kirkwall, he finds that his growing obsession for her is hard to fight.


_This was supposed to be a fill for a prompt on the kmeme, but the more I worked on it the more I grew to adore it. I decided that I would share it here instead as a oneshot that MAY OR MAY NOT turn into something more. My muses haven't decided if they are ready to let this one go yet. lol. (Knowing of course that 3 stories is quite enough to juggle already. I guess time will tell, no?) Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

_This one is for EmbersOfAmber! Many thanks for reading it over and over while I needled about with the details. _

_It belongs to Bioware..._

* * *

><p>He watched intently as they lead her across the courtyard. He was looking for a spark of the mage that had saved his neck that day on the Wounded Coast, but found nothing of the same woman. Marian Hawke had been laid low by what she must have saw as the ultimate betrayal. Her Brother, Carver, had held her secret after joining the templar ranks just as he had himself, but eventually it came out as all secrets tend to do over time. He was loath to take away her freedom, but once the fact reached the Knight-Commander's ears there would have been no stopping it. They had to arrest her and bring her to the Circle.<p>

He had wrestled with the idea of warning her, sending her an anonymous note or something of the like. Perhaps she would have had the chance to flee Kirkwall, but even as his mind wished it, it also rebelled against such a thing. Keeping her secret for as long as he had strained his sense of duty to the Order. He had gone over his reasons for doing so many times over and they were weak to say the least. The honest truth behind it was that she reminded him of Serenity. They shared the same sharp humor and confident flair. The same intense violet eyes. It hadn't surprised him at all when he found that they were from the same stock. What did surprise him was that this was the second time in his life that he'd been weak over a member of the Amell family line.

His eyes followed her and her templar captors up the stone stairs as they led her through the guarded gate of the Circle. As Knight-Captain he would be present when she had her initial meeting with the First Enchanter. He wondered if he would be able to look her in the eye, if he would glimpse the defiant woman from before or a hollow shell. Both thoughts were like a sour seed in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

><p>He entered the First Enchanters office quietly and took a chair in the corner. Orsino nodded in greeting but he did not stop the practiced speech he was giving the new sister of the circle. Cullen's mind wandered while the man talked, he had heard this many times over the last few years...just as he had delivered his own on the rules and regulations. This part of her admittance into tower life was unavoidable. Every new mage brought here had to hear it. After that was finished the First Enchanter would confer with her on his own and then she would be sent to his office across the hall for a similar meeting. He was jolted out of thought by the sound of his name.<p>

"Knight-Captain Cullen will brief you on everything else. Once again, welcome to the Kirkwall Circle of Magi, sister."

He cleared his throat and stood launching into his speech before she even turned to look at him. Once she did however he paused. Her eyes were red-rimmed and had the glassy sheen of unshed tears. Her jaw clenched as violet eyes locked on his and he suddenly felt ill. She was in pain and the fault was partially his own. He turned away from her and began pacing, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he began his rundown of the rules again. Once he was finished looked past her to the First Enchanter and nodded. He would not welcome her to the Circle, she already had enough reason to dislike him. Orsino thanked him for his time and he made a hasty exit, shutting the door behind him. He strode across the hall and into his own office, closing that door as well. He leaned back against it heavily, his hands coming up to rub his face. He had no idea what he was going to say to her once she was sent to him.

* * *

><p>He sat at his desk scribbling away at paperwork, which had momentarily taken his mind off of what he would say to her when she arrived. He was scrawling his name at the bottom of a request form when the knock sounded. He grimaced and dropped the quill onto the desk. He had almost wished that she would have tried to avoid the meeting.<p>

"Enter."

The door opened slowly and she walked in, her face an unreadable mask. He motioned at the chair in front of the desk and after closing the door she took a seat. A long silence drew out as he looked down at the request form...anything to avoid the blank expression she wore when she walked in.

"Lady Hawke...I..." He began, but she cut him off.

"Just don't. I already saw in your eyes that you feel at fault for me being here. You can not be held accountable for the actions of my brother, his decisions were his own. You taking control and bringing me here undoubtedly saved me from the Knight-Commander's blade. For that at least I am thankful," she said quietly.

He looked to meet her eyes, but this time they did not contain sadness and defeat. Only steel resolve.

"I want you to know that I kept your magic secret until I was forced to act. I owed you that much."He said. Something else flashed behind the steel of her gaze then and a ghost of a smirk formed.

"It seems that I owe you on two counts then," she replied with a hint of humor, "believe me, I will repay that debt some way."

Maybe it was the sun streaming through the window or perhaps it was the way her voice dropped into a sultry cadence as she said it, but his armor suddenly felt unbearably warm. Her eyes were still locked on him and he cleared his throat nervously.

"Don't be ridiculous. You saved my life once."

"True, but you also made sure that I didn't end up on the business end of a templar sword...so yes, we're even in that. I still owe you for your silence, however." Her smirk had grown. Apparently she wasn't as broken up about her arrest as he had assumed...or maybe she was just deflecting it by making him squirm. The woman was like a giant mood swing. He wasn't sure how to take her.

He thanked the Maker when another knock sounded on his door and the First Enchanter popped his head in.

"Knight-Captain, Marian's escort has arrived to see her to her new quarters." He announced.

"Good, we were just done talking..." Cullen replied with a tight-lipped smile. She coughed to conceal a laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Thank you for everything, Knight-Captain." She said with a sly wink as she got up from the chair to follow Orsino. "Good evening."

When the door closed behind them he threw his head back and groaned. "This again, you stupid man..."

* * *

><p>Cullen hadn't really given much thought to the reason that he was keeping an eye on her, he figured if he did think about it that he would find he was doing it for the wrong reasons. He watched her progress over the weeks to make sure that she was adjusting to circle life, or at least that was the reason he would give if someone noticed. He assumed that it would be hard for her considering the fact that she had never been truly confined. Then again, there were many types of confinement. Her magic was a prison all of it's own really, she had spent her life hiding and running, never able to truly fit in with society. At least within these walls she did not have to hide what she was.<p>

He was genuinely surprised by how quickly and easily she fit into circle life. She made fast friends with practically anyone she talked to and impressed the senior enchanters with her expert grasp of force and primal magic. By the end of her first month there it was hard to tell that she hadn't been there all along. In a small way he was happy for it, however it also struck him as strange. A willful woman such as she just settling into this fate as if she had never experienced freedom seemed...suspicious.

The longer he watched her the more convinced he became that her complacency was a ruse. She had something up her sleeve, he could feel it in his bones. Maybe he was just being paranoid...but something seemed off. Perhaps she would try to escape when the others least expected it. Maybe her dwarf friend would stage some sort of rescue attempt. Whatever it was he needed to ferret it out, anything of the sort would cause an uproar within the tower and that he could not allow.

* * *

><p>"You wanted to speak with me, Knight-Captain?" She queried as she approached him in the stone courtyard.<p>

"Indeed," he replied. "Please, walk with me." He gestured toward a terraced walkway knowing that near it's end there was a quiet alcove that was usually free of prying eyes and ears. It was there that he would get to the bottom of her plans.

"So, tell me...how are you finding life in the circle, Lady Hawke?" He asked casually as they walked at a leisurely pace down the path.

"Please, call me Marian...and I'm finding circle life is much like anywhere else. I'm getting on well enough, though. I'm alive, well liked and well fed. I've even been asked to do an instruction block on force magic."

His palms felt clammy as they neared the end of the path. "That is good to hear...I was concerned that you might have trouble settling in." He said as he guided her into the alcove and motioned to a stone bench.

She took a seat and looked at him expectantly. "You were worried for the welfare of a new circle mage? Is that standard procedure, Knight-Captain?" A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth and mirth sparkled like diamonds in those violet eyes. "I wondered why you seemed to show up everywhere. You were watching...did you see anything you liked?" She purred.

He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side as he looked down at her. A hot wave of lust rolled through him as she quirked an eyebrow and her tongue slid out to moisten her lips. Something possessive clawed in his chest as he gazed into her eyes, but he beat it back. This was not why they were here. He would get his answers.

"Do spit it out, Cullen," she said in a low voice as she rose from the bench and came to stand in front of him. "Did you see anything that piqued your interest while you were spying on me?" She stood very close, the slight breeze wafting her spicy scent all around. She smelled...delicious.

"I did, in fact." He replied in an even voice. "It is curious that you fit in so well here...you, having never been subjected to the limited freedom offered in a tower." He watched as her eyes narrowed and the small gap between them grew even smaller. "One would draw the conclusion that this is a perfect fit for you...if one were a fool."

A laugh tinkled out of her like chimes in the wind even as her shoulders stiffened and her chin raised in defiance. "Perhaps I am content with my lot, Knight-Captain." She said coolly as she stepped around him and headed for the exit.

He spun on his heel and caught her wrist, pulling her around to face him again. She twisted it in his grasp but he did not let her go. "The woman I met that day on the Wounded Coast would not be content with this lot, she would buck against confinement."

"You sound as if it's what you want me to do." She said, her voice carrying a cruel edge. "Is that what you want, Cullen? For me to buck against authority so you can punish me?"

Before she could react a growl erupted from his throat and he pulled her against him wrapping his arms around her to pin her tightly to his chest. His mouth came down on hers roughly as demanding heat coursed through him, his pulse thudding so loud in his ears that it was nearly disorienting. She was all soft curves in his embrace as their tongues danced together, sharing this burning kiss that would be etched in his memory for all time.

Her hands came up to cradle his face when he pulled back from her lips to catch his breath. Maker, but he wanted more. She shivered as one of his hands burned a trail down her back and over the swell of her bottom while the other still held her close. He was suddenly very thankful that he was not wearing his armor and thoroughly appreciative that he could feel every curve...every sharp intake of breath.

She shifted against him and he hissed as her hips slid against his. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that this was a bad idea, but sense had fled the moment his lips had touched hers. There was no going back now...he would not deny himself this time.

He bent his head down to capture her lips again, but she slipped a hand between their bodies and pushed insistently against his chest. Pausing he took in her expression finding want, confusion and a tinge of what appeared to be fear in her violet depths.

"Marian?" He said tentatively.

She wriggled out of his embrace and wrapped her arms protectively around herself. "I...I'm sorry. I provoked you and I shouldn't have. I should just...go." He didn't stop her as she turned and hurried out of the alcove.

He stood there for a long time, emotions waging a full scale war against him. She was right to leave...she was a mage and he was a templar. Their union would never be acceptable in the eyes of the Chantry. That however didn't change anything. He had a taste of her and now wanted Marian Hawke for his own...and consequences be damned, he would have her.

* * *

><p>He did not see her again for a little over a week after their encounter in the alcove. Multiple reports of apostates and helping the city guard temper rising tensions from the qunari compound had kept him extremely busy and he just hadn't found time to slip away. He nudged the door to his office shut with his boot and tiredly trudged around his desk to slump down into the chair. Running a hand through his hair, he groaned as he noticed that the mountain of neglected paperwork on his desk had only grown larger since the last time he saw it.<p>

Sighing, he grabbed a small portion of the stack and plopped it down in front of him. It was going to be a long boring afternoon. Eyes focused on the request form in front of him he reached down to open the drawer he kept his quill in. He smirked at the recruits request for leave as he reached into it to grab the item and yanked his hand back sharply. Paper cut. He frowned as he looked into the drawer, a piece of parchment that had not been there now sat on top of everything else. He picked it up and unfolded it, an eyebrow quirking as he looked it over. The short message was composed in neat flowery script that flowed across the page.

_Cullen,_

_I would like to talk to you, if possible. Meet me at dusk in the alcove._

_-Marian_

He could feel his cheeks heat up with a blush as he refolded the note and stuffed it back into the desk drawer. Maker, how had she even gotten into the office? Curiosity burned through him as he turned to look out the window. There were at least a few more hours until sunset. He wondered if he had already missed the requested meeting. He had returned straight to his quarters the afternoon before, too tired to deal with request forms, purchase orders and the sort. He finally decided that he would go there anyway, just in case.

* * *

><p>He sat on the bench, his elbows on his knees as shadow started creeping over Kirkwall. The longer those shadows became the more convinced he was that he had missed her the day before. He sat up straight, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as he drew in a deep breath. It promised to be a warm clear night and the breeze brought in the scent of the sea...it almost covered up the smell of the city's decay.<p>

He gave a deep sigh, cursing the fact that he hadn't dropped by the office the day before. It was just as well though. He rose from the bench, his mind drifting to his bed when he heard the shuffle of feet. He looked up in time to see her look back over her shoulder before stepping into the secluded alcove. He raised an eyebrow, it looked as if he hadn't missed the meeting after all.

Her gaze met his as she walked toward him, her expression sober and serious. She stopped a few feet from him, crossing her arms over her chest and her voice was low and annoyed when she spoke.

"So, the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall does go to his office then. I was thinking that it was just for show. I waited for hours last night, you know." She groused.

He couldn't hold back the smirk that formed on his lips as he thought of her impatiently pacing the alcove waiting for a templar to show up. He wondered how much she had cursed him, though that only served to make the scene in his head even more amusing.

"I'm sorry...is something funny?" She snapped, her eyes glittering dangerously in the dim light.

"No, no...not at all. It's just that we templars don't get library time when there are apostates and angry qunari on the loose." He replied smugly. "I'm sorry that I didn't get your message until today, Marian...I've just been busy." He said as her face contorted into an angry mask at his snark.

"Well, we wouldn't want that would we?" She replied sharply as one hand propped up on her hip. "I trust you dealt with those troublesome magic-users."

Her sarcasm was not lost on him. Maybe he did like her better as the complacent sister of the circle.

"Indeed." He said, watching as her shoulders tensed. "I'm assuming that what you called me here for isn't life or death, otherwise we wouldn't be standing here sniping at each other. What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?"

The color that had risen in her cheeks quickly drained away at his question and her eyes were cast to the ground. It seemed that for all of her bluster and sarcasm she was still just a woman who was unsure of what she wanted. Luckily, he didn't have that issue...he knew exactly what he wanted. He covered the distance between them in a couple of steps and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Marian?"

She cleared her throat nervously and kept her eyes averted as she spoke. "I know you have other priorities. If you want to talk some other time, perhaps when you're not as busy, I would like that." She shrugged his hand from her shoulder and turned, taking the first few steps toward the courtyard. Running away again, it seemed. For some reason that thought brought an ire that he couldn't tamp down. It rose up like a beast within, taunting him, testing his control.

"Tell me, Marian...do you see any apostates here right now?" He growled. She stopped and turned back around, her eyes full of surprise by his tone.

"No."

His eyes narrowed and he saw her shiver. "Rampaging qunari lurking in the shadows? Abominations pouring out of the stonework?" He wildly gestured around the alcove.

"Not at present." She replied quietly.

"Perfect." Came his clipped reply as he moved toward her. Her eyes widened as he reached out and dragged her against his body, his eyes burning into hers.

"Cullen, I..." She began, but he cut her off.

"Do you want this or not? No more games, no more dodging. Make the decision." His voice was so rough that it even surprised him a little.

Her arms came up to circle his neck. "But you are a templar," she reminded him, "and not just any recruit. You are the Knight-Captain of Kirkwall and I am a mage."

He gave a frustrated growl as he backed her into the stone wall and braced his arms on either side of her. "That, Marian, is not an answer." He bent his head down to her neck and breathed in her spicy scent. Her arms tightened around his neck as he gently nipped her jaw. "Yes or no." He punctuated each word with a clear pause knowing his warm breath tickling across her skin was having the desired effect. Goosebumps crawled over her flesh in response. He drew back his head to look her in the eye again. He knew that when they locked with hers that she could see the raw desire that clouded them. He was pleased to see that there was a storm brewing in hers as well.

"Yes or no, Marian. Last chance."

Her hands moved up his neck and and fingers rooted in his hair, dragging his head down so that their lips were barely touching. It took everything he had to still himself and wait for her answer. "Yes." She finally breathed against him.

That was all he needed to hear. His lips pushed hard onto hers in a feverish kiss, hands came off the wall and molded to her soft curves. She was a creature of perfection. He delved into her perfect mouth, tongue dancing with hers savoring the taste of her and all he wanted was more. She was an addiction, worse than any drug. Lyrium paled in comparison to her sweet taste on his tongue.

Her hands slid down his back and around his sides following the belt cinched over his tunic. Nimble fingers quickly undid it as he kissed his way down the graceful column of her neck. She was breathing erratically now, and the more aroused she became the more the magic in her blood battered at his templar senses...it was a delicious torture. Her exploring fingers burned like wildfire against his bare skin as she slid them underneath his tunic to map out the muscles of his chest.

Even as he undid the laces at the top of her robe to grant him better access to her collarbone his mind was screaming for him to stop. He didn't want to do this in some dark corner like she was a working girl from the Rose. The thought lingered in his mind as she loosened the ties on his trousers.

"Marian, maybe we shouldn't...here...I..."

This time it was her that cut him off with a hiss.

"If you say we should stop I'm going to throw a fireball at your head." She panted as she slid his trousers off his lean hips. He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat as her fingertips grazed him through his smalls, then she rid him of those as well. The proof of his desire for her laid bare to her, hot and thick against her palm. "I want you right now, right here." To emphasize her point she dragged her robe up around her hips and wriggled out of her own underclothing, then hooked a long smooth leg around him.

A low feral noise escaped his throat as she pressed herself against him and he swept her up with one strong arm so she could wrap both legs around him. Her skin on his was like an electric shock, a bolt of lightning that made his want for her a singular goal. His need for her was fiercer and sharper than anything he had ever known as he pressed her harder into the wall. She moaned and rocked her hips against him, the raging storm of their need roaring around them as he sheathed himself in her molten heat.

A string of curses broke from him as he worked his hips and she captured his lips with her own to silence him. He pounded into her, their moans trapped in each others mouths until he felt her clutch around him, her explosion of bliss causing her head to drop back against the stone. He followed right behind her, unable to resist the pressure of his ecstasy any longer. He seated himself deep as his seed spilled into her fiery body, panting against her as his head dropped to the cold wall above her shoulder.

When he finally managed to catch his breath he backed away from the wall, setting her gently on her feet but keeping his arms wrapped around her. One of her hands caressed his face as she stared up at him.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked tentatively as her hand dropped from his face and she righted her robe.

"It wasn't an entirely uncomfortable experience," She giggled, "but you might think to put your clothes back on before someone catches the Knight-Captain exposing himself to an innocent mage."

He chuckled as he let her go and bent down to pick up his discarded clothing, giving a sharp jerk and a glance over his shoulder when she gave him a playful swat on the bum.

"Sorry, when an opportunity like that presents itself..." She said with a wide grin as he pulled his pants on and tied them.

He quirked an eyebrow at her as they walked to the bench and sat down. "What was it you were saying about an innocent mage?" He jabbed as she giggled.

They sat quietly together for a while, their fingers intertwined between them.

"So what do we do now?" She finally asked. "Was this a one time tryst in the corner or do you have something else in mind?"

His eyes met hers as his free hand came up to caress the soft curve of her cheek. "I will figure it out, Marian...and trust me when I say that once would never be enough." He felt that truth acutely as he stared into her violet depths. It didn't matter that he was a templar and she was a mage. He wanted this woman for all time. He would find a way.


End file.
